Enneagram Type NINE and Travel
Written by cherilbyh2o in Travel Planning
What’s the Enneagram, and what are we talking about when we say type NINE? Check out our Introduction to the Enneagram for Travel article and our Enneagram Resources
page to learn what the Enneagram is and why we think it’s useful when applied to travel.
Enneagram Type NINE and Travel
If you know your Enneagram type, you will find links to the entire series at the bottom of this post. If you are new to the Enneagram and are interested in discovering what this typing system is all about, and specifically what type you are, visit our Introduction to the Enneagram for Travel article. It is an overview of what the Enneagram is and how to find your type.
People don’t fit in boxes
One of the major arguments against personality typing systems I have heard is that people are so multi-faceted; how can a personality type define all of the subtleties of an individual?
We have been amazed at how extensive the Enneagram is. While you can dabble and learn a great deal of helpful information, you can also deep dive and still not touch the bottom.
We would never want to put anyone in a box or say that we understand another human being because we will never experience how another brain works. However, we’ve found the Enneagram to be extremely helpful in articulating how we’re motivated in this world and learning how to relate to each other as we travel together.
Who is Enneagram type NINE?
The Peacemakers.
Enneagram Type NINES are arguably (although they wouldn’t) the easiest type on the Enneagram to get along with.
They’re natural mediators, seek harmony with others, are quick to love, and slow to anger. With others, they strive to adapt, include everyone, and go with the flow.
NINES are experts at relaxing, having fun, and enjoying simple pleasures.
Their gift of accepting others without prejudice makes people feel understood and accepted. NINES can be unbiased arbitrators because they can see and appreciate the positive aspects of both sides. Their sense of fairness may make them committed fighters for peace and justice.
The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective
Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert
And like all the types, NINES have a shadow side. Yes, they will stand up for others but not for themselves.
They’re out of touch with both their anger and desires, resulting in trouble making decisions and becoming dependent on others taking the lead.
When faced with too much — too much to do, too many decisions to make, or too much change — NINES will default to inertia or engage in behaviors to numb themselves.
Don’t be fooled by that easy-going, even-tempered facade. NINES have a limit, and being in the anger triad, an explosion is bubbling beneath the surface. Push them too far, and you will experience their wrath.
To gain a better understanding of NINES, use our Favorite Enneagram Resources to Help You Learn the Enneagram to learn more about this and the other types.
Type NINE is often called…
The Peacemaker, Sweetheart, The Comforter
Basic fear
Loss, separation, conflict and tension, feeling overlooked.
Basic desire
Maintain inner peace (of mind), and equilibrium.
Key characteristics
Patient, easy going, unselfish, stubborn, indecisive
Deadly sin or passion
Sloth (emotionally checking out)
Type NINE strengths
NINES are at the top of the Enneagram circle. They can see the world through the lens of every type. This is part of why they have trouble taking up a position — they see everyone’s viewpoint but their own.
But, it also means NINES can access the core strength of every type. It makes them excellent mediators.
- 1’s Idealism
- 2’s Kindness and generosity
- 3’s Attractiveness
- 4’s Creativity
- 5’s Intellectualism
- 6’s Loyalty and dutifulness
- 7’s Optimism and adventurousness
- 8’s Strength
NINES make the best friends — they offer others the freedom to grow and rarely judge. They are thoughtful, agreeable, and reassuring.
Type NINE struggles
An important thing to understand about NINES is their tendency to ‘merge’ with others. To feel comfortable and keep that all-important inner equilibrium, NINES set aside their viewpoint and wants.
Above all else, they want to stay in connection with the people they care about. If it takes forgetting their preferences, opinions, and priorities, so be it. As a result, they are erased and drop healthy boundaries.
Nines get into the habit of saying yes to things that they do not really want to do. This strategy may avoid disagreements in the short run but almost inevitably leads to resentment on both sides.
The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
The second thing to understand about NINES is sloth.
Sloth is not necessarily physical laziness — NINES can be very diligent and hard workers. The sloth is more spiritual/emotional. Because they don’t like to let things get to them, they will avoid pursuing their passions, purpose in life, or calling.
Stretching is a risk — to relationships and peace. Chasing what you want in life (or even for lunch) can cause conflict. So instead of figuring out what they want and going after it, NINES will check out, disengage and go to emotional autopilot.
Leveraging type NINE strengths and struggles in travel
Being aware of our strengths and struggles is often half the battle towards addressing them. When we know what we’re good at and what we’re weak in, it’s easier to work in a team, seek help, or leverage what we know about ourselves to improve our circumstances.
Travel strengths
NINES are good travelers.
Their patient, easy-going nature helps them handle the waiting and stress involved in travel.
They know how to relax and enjoy themselves — and give others space to do the same. A NINE won’t exhaust themselves trying to do and see all the things.
NINES natural diplomacy, lack of judgment, and acceptance allow them to go into the world and experience it at face value. They don’t feel the urge to “fix” everything like some types.
And since they seek harmony and can get along with lots of different people, they rarely have conflict as they navigate their way through travel practicalities.
Healthy Nines are also highly effective in handling crises because they have extraordinary inner stability. The little ups and downs of life do not knock them off balance; nor do major problems, set-backs, and disasters. When everyone else is overreacting with anxiety, Nines become the still, calm center that moves ahead and gets things done.
The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
We created an ebook for each Enneagram type — you can join our email list (for free) and have access to all 9 ebooks (also free!). Download as many as you like.
Travel struggles
NINES have a hard time getting around to deciding. When traveling, there are so many options, so many choices and things to consider.
This intersection of choice and fence-sitting causes a problem. NINES tend to wait for others to decide for them or check out emotionally and shut down.
The more a NINE is pressured to decide, the more they resist. At least on the inside. The problem is, no one else can see the seething resentment that’s building up.
If pressured to go along with something they do not want to do, a NINE will often stay silent — but let you know loud and clear through procrastination, dragging their feet, or avoidance.
The NINES resentment usually causes passive-aggressive behavior — agreeing to do something and then not doing it — which ultimately creates much greater conflicts and misunderstandings with others. Their accommodation also puts them in danger of being taken advantage of since they are willing to pay a high price to keep the peace.
The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
Type NINE and vacation
What does vacation mean for type NINE?
At their best, a type NINE vacations to relax and connect with the people they love.
NINES come in a wide variety of packages — they can be extreme sports enthusiasts or pool loungers. The important thing is an experience infused with friendly camaraderie and peace.
When merged with others in an unhealthy way, NINES will agree to trips and activities they don’t want to take. In this case, their bodies might join in, but their full self will be a million miles away.
What is the ideal vacation for type NINE?
NINES may want to consider organized tours — trips planned by guides and travel agencies. This removes some of the decision-making load and allows the NINE to focus on micro-decisions.
If commercial tours are not the ticket, group travel with friends or family members can fill the same need as long as the NINE comes to the planning with a list of true wishes and opinions. Exercising some initiative in the planning frees them to go along with the flow and enjoy the plans others make.
Whatever type of vacation a NINE takes, there should be plenty of downtime to recharge.
Traveling relationally for type NINE
NINE traveling with others
NINES need to learn to name, identify and assert what they want in life.
It is possible to be a team player, be others-focused, diplomatic, and cooperative, and have desires and wants.
Your attempts for harmony eventually backfire in relationships when the people around you get frustrated by your complacency, stubbornness, emotional unavailability, and passive-aggressive responses. Your attempts to avoid conflict, ironically, create the very conflict you desperately want to avoid.
Becoming Us
Beth McCord and Jeff McCord
Traveling with a NINE
NINES make fabulous travel companions. They are kind, open, optimistic, easy to be with, and good listeners.
They get along, don’t complain much, are flexible, and unselfish. Who wouldn’t enjoy that riding shotgun?
NINES also tend to be practical and down-to-earth, making them a great help in the more mundane aspects of traveling. They will pitch in without needing a big pat on the back.
To help NINES maintain peace, and therefore ensure a successful trip for everyone, keep these things in mind:
- avoid directly confronting them, be gentle with correction
- never treat them or others with rudeness or harsh words
- do not ignore or overlook their needs
- defer criticism and pointing out their faults
Other types may be able to take these things in stride and even push back, a NINE will be devastated, and it will unravel the trip.
Appearing easygoing, pleasant, calm, and always willing to accommodate without strong preferences of their own hides the fact that Nines want independence and autonomy (not to be bothered). If life or people interrupt their calm and peaceful state they will try to accommodate to keep the peace so they can quickly get back to their inner calm. If they are constantly bothered or expected to accommodate, they will become irritated and resentful.
Becoming Us
Beth McCord and Jeff McCord
When traveling with a NINE, if they decide, admit a preference, or express a want — honor it!
Yes, they will go along if you want something different, but you will be aborting the growth work they need to do as a NINE.
Type NINE and traveling the world
Skills for type NINE tool belt: improve travel experiences
Skill 1: Reconnect with an old friend
NINES are loyal friends and family members.
But because they secretly believe their presence doesn’t matter, they can be passive when reaching out and initiating contact with others.
Stretch yourself by reaching out to an old friend that moved away, an acquaintance you would like to know better, a distant family member, or the exchange student you met in high school.
Plan a time to meet up and catch up. You can even go so far as to plan a trip around your meeting.
Nines are not initiators, but they’re thrilled when others reach out to them. They have a wonderful ability to reconnect with people whom they haven’t run into in a long time. Even after years of not seeing a person, they can pick up the conversation as if it had only been yesterday when they last saw you.
The Road Back to You
Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
Skill 2: Make a bucket list
It’s vital for NINES to do the work and figure out what they like in all areas of life.
Otherwise, they get swallowed up in the preferences of those around them.
One way to do this for travel is to create a bucket list when you feel healthy and energetic. Populate the list with as many ideas and details as possible. When it comes time to weigh in on trip planning, you won’t have to expend your precious decision-making energy.
Learn to recognize what you want from a given situation. Often you will be so busy taking into account the positions and views of others that you will tend to neglect your own. Because of this habit of mind, you may not know what you want immediately. If necessary, do not be afraid to ask others to give you a moment to consider the options. And don’t be afraid to pursue the option you prefer when it arises. Remember that you are allowed to have wants.
The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
Skill 3: Seek diversity
NINES see the good in others, are slow to judge and entertain different viewpoints.
Take a trip that stretches your perception of the world. Go somewhere where the food, the people, and the culture will exercise this ability to embrace diversity.
You have a distinct advantage in connecting with all kinds of humans from around the world.
Here’s what a few type NINES said…
Interview #1: Bailey Bywater
What is your favorite part about traveling?
Planning and looking back.
Being on the trip is the present moment, which is harder for me. I have to do all the things I planned, which takes a lot of energy, and then I forget to enjoy the process.
The planning is easy — action is the hard part.
What do you think vacation means to your number?
Relaxing, spreading the activities and experiences out over the trip. Doing fun things, but making it last. Plenty of quiet time. Not doing everything in one day.
What is something you/NINES struggle with when traveling?
Going, going, going.
Always having to do something and not having space to breathe.
In general, NINES have a hard time taking care of themselves, such as eating right or taking quiet time. I know I revert to vacation mode and eat anything and everything, which makes me feel bad and crabby.
We think about doing these things, but actually doing it… we often need another Enneagram type to come alongside and help us with our good intentions.
It is also hard for me to keep up with the more energetic types — most of my family. They always have something fun to do, and go, go, go.
However, I do like others making the choices and plans, and I’m generally willing, as long as it’s something I’m comfortable with.
What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?
Packing — I don’t know if I’ll be warm or cold. It’s a lot of work to make so many decisions about what I might need. So I tend to bring everything.
How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?
For most of my life, I haven’t had a choice — I go along with whatever the family is doing. I go with the flow.
One choice I made is to travel to Paris and Marseille. I’ve always wanted to go there. But it still took Brittany (sister) to initiate making it happen.
For the most part, I want little to do with decision-making. I love researching and finding out what there is to do. But I don’t want to be the person that doesn’t make everyone happy. I don’t want the responsibility.
How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?
If I didn’t have any responsibilities, I would travel all the time — slowly. This is unrealistic because I would have to be free of co-workers counting on me, or my needing me. I would probably feel bad for being gone.
And of course, I’m just thinking about traveling — and the thinking part is easy!
I think NINES tend to be homebodies. They probably don’t travel much as a type, unless the trip is easy or someone else is taking action.
How does a NINES time orientation affect travel?
NINES are oriented in the past. If I go somewhere I’ve been before; it’s all about what happened last time. I use old memories to know the things I like to do. It’s easier for me to go to the same place because I don’t have to make as many decisions.
I want to vacation in the same places, so I know what’s there, what to expect, what I like to do, and occasionally go somewhere new.
Interview #2: Christina P. Kantzaelos from Buen Qamino
What is your favorite part about traveling?
I enjoy all of it — the planning, the trip itself, looking back.
Plus restoration.
What do you think vacation means to your number?
Restoration. A time for yourself, and a time to heal.
What is something you/NINES struggle with when traveling?
Planning. I have various health challenges, and not having everything adequately planned can have risks. However, I also enjoy going with the flow. So these two definitely clash.
[I think NINES struggle with] Considering everyone’s needs and wants, before their own.
What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?
Questioning whether I’m using the time away wisely if I’ve scheduled enough time for rest, and just FOMO in general.
How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?
I generally have a connection with the place I’m going to, and there’s often something I’d like to see and experience that I’ve been visualizing for months, if not years.
How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?
Weekend trips at least twice a month, and larger trips each season.
[I think NINES would travel] As often as feasible.
Interview #3: Cassandra Schmigotzki from Brand New Me
Wellness Coaching
What is your favorite part about traveling?
The trip itself, getting away from the stress of normal life.
What do you think vacation means to your number?
I think my SIX [side] does the planning and my NINE actually enjoy the vacation.
What is something you/NINES struggle with when traveling?
The lack of structure is hard for me until I’m engrossed in the day’s activities.
[I think NINES struggle with] finding a balance between structure and relaxation.
What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?
Getting frustrated with my husband who’s always running behind, flying by the seat of his pants.
How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?
We choose warm places with activities nearby we both enjoy.
How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?
Monthly.
[I’m unsure how much other NINES would travel].
We created an ebook for each Enneagram type — you can join our email list (for free) and have access to all 9 ebooks (also free!). Download as many as you like.
More resources
Introduction to the Enneagram for Travel
Favorite Resources to Help You Learn the Enneagram
Enneagram Type THREE and Travel
Enneagram Type FOUR and Travel
Enneagram Type FIVE and Travel
Enneagram Type SEVEN and Travel
